This is as close as the phonebook has ever been to its destiny. To its home. To its rightful place in the world. There's just one ever so minor problem - IT'S STILL NOT IN THE FUCKING DUMPSTER. These people are the Honey-Boo-Boos of the Midwest. They just. Don't. Get it. After a week of me toying with them, being a giant ass to them, blatantly and sarcastically pounding it in their thick skulls that they're lazy slobs, they still can't hurl the thing an additional 24 inches into that big hole in the side of the metal box. No, they simply just drop it on the ground and hope someone else will do the shit for them. Never in my wildest dreams did I think a phonebook would irk me so much. If it were up to me, and the local authorities didn't frown upon it, I would blast this thing into a pile of confetti.
So what's next? I can't let it end here. I have to keep going. The phonebook is safe and sound in my possession. Also remember I now have two. I have a few thoughts, but as of right now I'm undecided. Help me think of what to do next. Comment with your ideas. I can't give up now. I need your help. Don't let me down! Also don't forget to share. Until next time...
put it by their door with a note telling them there's a beer in it for them if it ends up in the dumpster. if it ends up in the dumpster...do not honor the promise since it has taken that long to get the phonebook in that muthafucka
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